theocquotes (theocquotes) wrote,
theocquotes
theocquotes

201: The Distance

Caleb (about Seth) : I don't get it, his best friend leaves so he runs off with another boy and his gay dad, you gotta admit, it sounds kinda strange.
Sandy: And this coming from a guy who is one click away from wearing a wig and a fake mustache.

Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I pick up the phone I hear a clicking.
Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much? What's going on Cal? You're either hopped up on blow or something's seriously wrong.

Jimmy (about Hailey): Yeah we are doing great, she is fantastic, sweet, limber. How about you and Caleb?
Julie: Not so limber

Jimmy: So what's going on in your life?
Julie: Aside from our daughter being the spawn of Chucky and Keith Moon?

Julie: I’m taking Caitlin to look at new ponies
Caleb: What's wrong with China?
Julie: China has alopitia, I was hoping that the hair treatments would work but still bald as a baby's ass!

Julie: It's just not right for a little girl to love a hairless pony.

Kirsten (to Summer): For the record, if he wasn't my son, I'd do the same thing.

Kirsten: This house just seems so empty
(Topless construction worker enters)
Sandy: And yet so full, full of sweaty shirtless men, you'd think you would be in heaven!

Luke (to Seth): You've got some willpower 'cause she's got a killer rack.

Luke (Playing video games): Come on Chino try and hurt me, make me feel pain, wound me!
Seth: Do you know how much money Luke spends on these games that he could use for therapy?
Ryan: I think he could consider this therapy.

Ryan (to Seth): So you learned how to work a grill. You've got one up on your mom.

Sandy: Kirsten loves to shop, even for the unborn.

Sandy (To Caleb): Hey, I could be wearing a wire, you sure you don't wanna frisk me?

Sandy (to Archie): Don't you ever get married. And if you do, don't have kids.

Sandy (to Kirsten): My house is torn apart and construction has nothing to do with it.

Sandy: In the meantime, could you please try to convince the fellas here to wear something in a shirt. The neighbors are starting to refer to my home as "The Manhole."

Sandy (to Kirsten): Right now it's not about what he knows. It's about what he feels.

Sandy: I've always liked Luke. Kind of a big Golden Retriever.
Ryan: Actually, he kinda is.

Sandy: Ryan had to do what he had to do.
Seth: Okay, well so do I.

Sandy (To Ryan): You and me, unbeatable combination.

Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space.
Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's not enough space? I'm tired of waiting for that. Bring him home Sandy. Bring him home.

Sandy: Hey, there's plenty of good restaurants in Newport.
Seth: I thought you said all the restaurants in Newport were overpriced and oversauced.
Sandy: I have this thing about sauces. Less is more.

Seth: It's a two-for-one special on brooding young men.

Seth: You can't tell me for 17 years everything wrong with Newport, and just expect me to come back. You can't do that.

Seth: If you see any more naked fat guys be sure to let Luke know!

Seth (to Ryan): Hobos are hot again.

Seth (to Ryan): They don't even have a water polo team here. That I can't handle... We don't have to hug or anything do we?

Ryan: How'd you make it all the way to Portland from Newport on that little catamaran?
Seth: Hm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. It was a long and torturous journey, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna share gory details with you—
Ryan: Please don't.
Seth: —'cause we're friends. First, I sailed to Catalina. Then, I sailed to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, I ran out of snacks. Freaked out a little bit, pawned my boat for cash, took a Greyhound to Portland.
Ryan: You took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. But don't say it like that, cause they're not cool. Have you ever been in one of those? Okay, not for the faint of heart.
Ryan: I can't believe after all that you took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. I think we're definitely going to have to come up with a better story for school though, that'd be good.
Ryan: I don't know, I like the bus idea. It's cool.
Seth: Okay, what about maybe... boat sank, saved by whales? It's very Whale Rider.
Ryan: What else you got?
Seth: I took a boat, boat sank, saved by a mermaid? Boat sank, stranded on a desert island...

Summer: The more time I spend with Zach, the less times I think about ... God, what's his face? Built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried over and over for him until the Fourth of July until she decides she doesn't cry over bitches on sailboats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.
Summer: I know. I'm just doing this thing were I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.

Summer (to Marissa): Damn girl! Break me off a piece of dat.

Summer: I feel like my flesh is melting. I just hope it melts evenly.

Summer: You're looking a little thin.
Marissa: I eat.
Summer: Okay.

Summer (To Captain Oats): I hope we can still be friends.

Summer: Well my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life, is to divest myself of Seth's material possessions. (Kirsten looks confused) I've got to dump off a bunch of his crap.

Theresa: The only reason you stayed was because of this baby. And now there's no baby.
Ryan: You don't want me to come home.
Theresa: You don't want to come home.

Theresa's mom: Did you tell him? (Theresa nods) Did he believe you?
Theresa: Yeah, I think so.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments