Seth: Yeah, that's my niche. Pathetic but sweet.
Caleb: When I have champagne I get giggly.
Sandy: When do you ever get giggly?
Caleb: I just had the most vile, inhuman night of my life.
Sandy: For a guy who married Julie Cooper, that's saying something.
Jimmy: The woman I married wouldn't stand for that. Nobody puts Julie Cooper in a corner.
Julie: He's in prison.
Jimmy: So, you're gonna divorce him and take his kids.
Julie (to Caleb): As soon as I saw the paper, I walked right out of my seaweed wrap and I came here.
Julie (to Jimmy): You married me because I was pregnant. I married you because I loved you.
Kirsten: You quit?
Sandy: Quit slash got fired.
Lindsay (to Ryan): Yeah, I have to get rhinoplasty, but now I'll look like all the other girls here.
Lindsay (to Ryan): Oh yeah, you're not stupid at all.
Lindsay: I'm not here to make friends.
Ryan: Yeah, well mission accomplished.
Lindsay: Excuse me. I'm new. Is it okay to park here?
Bitchy Chick: Sure. If you're not too embarassed.
Lindsay: I'm just gonna go wring out my shirt, and stuff toilet paper up my nose, and now I'll fit in great.
Lindsay (to Ryan): The only reason I transferred to Harbor was so I could load up on AP courses, get accepted to Yale early and never have to look at another cheerleader or water polo player ever again.
Lindsay: So I've been thinking. I owe you an apology.
Ryan: You have to actually say the words. That's kinda how it works.Caleb: What do you suggest I do?
Sandy: I suggest you kind a way to make it up to Kirsten now. Unless you want Julie to be your lawyer too.
Marissa: Do you like this band?
Ryan: I like Journey.
Marissa (to Ryan): The last time we went to a concert, it, uh, didn't end so well.
Marissa (to Julie): If Caleb did go to jail then you'd be living on the streets and I could go back to living with Dad.
Marissa: So you're not over Seth?
Summer: Oh, I am! I've divested myself of all of Seth's material possessions. I'm vibrating, Coop, at an extremely Cohenless frequency.
Marissa: Ok, so then you don't really like Zach?
Summer: No! I mean yes! I don't, eww! Like, shut up!
Ryan: Don't worry. I promise to keep my hands to myself.
Lindsay It's your elbows I'm concerned about.
Ryan: You really are changing.
Seth Yeah, changing urinal cakes.
Sandy: Face it Caleb. It's time to get your Martha Stewart on.
Sandy: You're not exactly the ideal client.
Caleb: What, Rich? Powerful?
Sandy (to Ryan): There is no more archevillian than an asthmatic mathlete.
Sandy: Does the light of dawn make any of this easier to take?
Kirsten: Harder, actually.
Sandy: She's agreed to an supervised visit. 20 minutes, max.
Caleb: She's my daughter, I don't need to be supervised.
Sandy: No, I'm supervising her. Because she might kill you.
Seth: Maybe I just can't be just friends with you.
Summer: Then maybe this is it for us.
Seth: This is the old Seth Cohen. I'm back man. Red, white, and me.
Seth (to Ryan): I may be selfless, but I'm still pretty stingy.
Seth (to Ryan): Oh come on. What? The only music they had in Chino was the sound of gunshots and helicopters?
Seth (to Ryan): Please dude. I just need to talk about me for just several more hours at least.
Seth (to Sandy): Ryan is now a science nerd and I am a blue collar worker.
Seth (to Marissa): I don't know. He's kind of a dork now.
Seth (to Marissa): If someone had told me last year that we'd be the two loneliest people in Newport, I wouldn't have believed them. At least not the you part.
Seth: The Bait Shop? Could be very un-CBGBs.
Seth: I have a mop, Ryan!
Ryan: You have a mop, Bro!
Seth: So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the urinals! (walks off whistling)
(Ryan stands there stoically as Seth wanders back the other way)
Seth: I don't know where they are.
Seth: How is Seth's hair right now?
Seth: Oh, my back. Personal growth is so painful.
Summer: Unless if you have a car with plutonium in it...So I can go back to last year and never date you, then I don't want it.
Summer: You're not supposed to bug me from 8-9 on Thursdays!
Summer (to Zack): Holy mack, you are like such an adult... are you like a robot?
Summer: Cohen, that was really sweet.
Seth: Pathetic and sweet?
Summer: No, just sweet.