Caleb: Are you a frittata man?
Sandy: I'm fine.
Caleb (to Sandy): Let's break bread, let's discuss broads.
DJ: So, what, are we friends now?
Marissa: Judging by this conversation, probably not.
Jimmy: (to Julie) If there's one thing that you're good at, it's getting money from rich, old men. You've just... you gotta do it the Julie Cooper way. (pause) You know I don't mean sleep with him, right?
Jimmy (to Julie): You may not have Kirsten's experience or let's face it, any experience, but you're savvy.
Jimmy (to Julie): I never heard you admit to having faults before. This is fun.
Julie: Truth is, being CEO is a bitch.
Jimmy: Hmm. You'd think you'd be a natural.
Julie: Now I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but I have a way to make it up to you.
Kirsten: This can't be good.
Kirsten (to Sandy): You're in your pajamas. You've got orange Cheeto dust all over your chin. hat happened to my husband?
Kirsten: Oh, god. She just grazed an ass.
Jimmy: Ah, the not-so-subtle ass graze.
Lindsay (to Seth and Ryan): Classy and not remotely demeaning.
Marissa: It's a new era Summer. For the first time in years I have, like, no boy drama.
Ryan: She's argumentative... bossy.
Seth: Yeah, that's my type.
Ryan: Wow. Honest conversation with a girl. This is new to me.
Sandy: I tried to talk to Phyliss earlier, but I left my Ouija board at home.
Sandy (to Kirsten): We can let the gruesome twosome wreck our careers, or we can site here, watch obscene amounts of Dr. Phil and wreck them ourselves. Whaddya say?
Sandy: Today he sent me to go meet with his former assistant, Phyliss.
Kirsten: Phyliss died last year.
Sandy: Exactly. Literally, dead ends.
Seth: Man, I said I wanted to marry her, not date her okay?
Seth: Her with a tattoo, you with a wristband. That's like the ultimate-wrong-side-of-the-tracks love story.
Seth: My friend Ryan, he's really cool, okay? He's very anti-establishment. He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, punching people, and not smiling.
Alex: And that's how you see me?
Seth: Yeah. Except more so.
Seth to Summer: Can I talk to you for like, one minute? Zach, I'm really sorry
Zach: Oksy, I'm gonna go jump off the pier.
Seth: She was my shortie last year, but she got served.
Seth: So. To recap. I got disco-ed by two girls in one night, and unfortunately that's just, not the first time it's happened.
Seth: Oh. You think I'm cute.
Alex: When you're not talking.
Seth: I've redefined rock-bottom like several times tonight.
Seth: She's musical, she's witty, hopefully she's free for lunch.
Seth: You're the 50 Cent to her ... Mrs. Cent.
Summer: Cohen... Ryan.
Seth: I have a date
Summer: Wow! Have fun with Captain Oats.
Summer: Cohen has a date with a real live girl.
Summer: If Cohen is the virus, Zach is the cure. He is the anti-Cohen.
Zach (to Summer): Maybe you should go home, log onto some kind of Cohen chat room.