(Kirsten slaps him)
Kirsten: I want you out of my house.
Jimmy: What are we doing? Are we making a huge mistake?
Julie: Yeah, but I want to be with you.
Julie (to Caleb): You and your secrets Cal - you need a walk-in closet for all of your skeletons.
Kirsten: You gonna answer it?
Julie: Oh, no. It's just Jimmy.
Kirsten: I thought you two were getting along really well.
Julie: What makes you say that?
Kirsten: Last week, when you said that you and Jimmy were getting along really well.
(after being late for a meeting due to being with Jimmy)
Kirsten: Julie are you okay? You seem a little frazzled.
Julie: Yeah, well, I didn't get to blow my hair out this morning so...
Kirsten: I said frazzled, not frizzy.
Lindsay (to Ryan): I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore. I don't want to be anywhere near your family, but thanks for dropping by. Happy Holidays!
Lindsay (to Ryan): Every kid grows up, stops believing in Santa. I grew up, stopped believing in my dad.
Marissa: Last year the holidays were so fun.
Summer: Yeah, I got rejected by Cohen in a Wonder Woman costume and you were caught shoplifting.
Renee (to Lindsay): Are you sure you want to do this, I mean we hate the holidays. That is our pact.
Ryan (to Lindsay): He's even invented his own super holiday, Chrismukkah. Eight days of gifts followed by one day of many, many gifts.
(after Sandy tells them it is best not to invite Lindsay for Chrismukkah as she is involved in Caleb's case)
Ryan: Yeah, okay. Except, I mean, what does Lindsay have to do with Caleb's case? What is she like, Caleb's hit man, drug dealer?
Seth: Illegitimate love child?
(Sandy glares, confirming Seth's comment)
Ryan: You mind if I talk to her?
Sandy: It's your life.
Sandy: Facing Kirsten and Julie has got to be better than going to jail.
Caleb: Kirsten maybe, not Julie.
Sandy: So you really like her?
Seth: He wants to see her naked. (looks at Ryan) Sorry!
Sandy: I've had so many clandestine meetings lately I feel like I'm in an Oliver Stone movie.
Seth (to Ryan): Holy Moses! It's beautiful.
Seth: Now, we're gonna have to really put our heads together and do some serious Jew-cruitment. Ryan, do you think you can rope in some Hebrews?
Ryan: Blonde hair, blue eyes. Yeah no problem, I'm a natural.
Seth: Fair point, my Aryan friend.
Seth (to Ryan): If my sense of the cultural zeitgeist is accurate, this is the year Chrismukkah sweeps the nation.
Seth: But I think you and I have a lot to be grateful for - mostly that we didn't start dating.
Lindsay: Yeah that would have been gross in so many ways.
Seth: My color code holiday alert system is on high alert. And you, you're tope.
Seth: I've invited the Nichols... or the Cooper-Nichols... or whatever they're called.
Seth: Father! Where are we going to find some Jews in Orange County?
Sandy: Leave me out of it.
Kirsten: Oy, humbug
Seth: Oy, humbug.
Seth (singing): Moses and Jesus, they both have beards.
Seth: For Chrismukkah to sweep the nation, we're gonna need an anthem.
Summer: Suddenly my family - not so dysfunctional.
Marissa: You do realize this is my family too.
Summer: My stepmom, she finds the pastel colors soothing.
Marissa: Hmm. She's on some interesting drugs these days.
Summer: Hmm. Which I will be keeping away from you.