Alex: Sorry, I would have introduced you guys, but I didn't want you two to meet.
Alex (to Seth): Doesn't anyone go to school anymore?
Alex: I don't do relationships.
Seth: Well you did Jodi, so to speak.
Caleb (to Ryan): You've already scammed your way into one of my daughters lives. Why stop there?
Caleb: So how's your father? Is he still in jail?
Ryan: And you would be too if it weren't for Sandy, so I guess we're both better off.
Caleb: I haven't always been the best father.
Kirsten: Pretty much... no.
Gail: As you can see, t's a bit of a fixer-upper.
Kirsten: That's one way to put it.
Sandy: Who are you kidding, Gail? This place is a first-class dump. And I like it!
Kirsten (to Sandy): Sandy, this is a surf shack, not an office.
Kirsten (to Sandy): I'm sorry. It was a long time ago. Maybe I need to let go of her too.
Kirsten: You're going to prison?
Sandy: Oh, just for the day.
Lindsay: (about Caleb) According to the OC Weekly, he's pretty much everything that's wrong with western civilization, all wrapped up in one guy.
Marissa So you and Seth are..
Alex: Friends... someday... I hope.
Marissa: And what about Jodi?
Alex: Over. Finished
Marissa: You're not my father, Cal. You know what, if you want to be a parent go over to Lindsay's house and try to ruin hers.
Marissa: Breakups huh?
Jodi: Get ready, you're next.
Marissa: What are you doing here?
Caleb: You're not at school.
Marissa: Yeah, well you're not at work.
Professor Bloom (to Sandy): I was under the impression you'd become a successful lawyer.
Ryan: She's been asking questions about you. Who you are, what you're like. And though I told her, she still wants to get to know you.
Ryan: How'd things go with Zach?
Seth: Well they were going well until Summer discovered my sketchbook.
Ryan: What? What'd she do?
Seth: Well I thought she was going to get a restraining order, but she was cool with it.
Sandy: So you're not going to help me?
Joe: Oh I can't. You see Rebecca is dead.
Seth: I know. I'm sorry. It's was just a very long summer. I'll find my X-Acto knife and destroy them immediately.
Seth: You don't mind?
Summer: Not as long as I have boob approval.
Seth: Turns out I don't make a very convincing Super Hero.
Seth: (about Ryan's comicbook identity) Hey, Bryan Gatwood, AKA Kid Chino, a strong but silent youth from the wrong side of the tracks, who when provoked unleashes his fists of fury.
Seth (to Zach and Ryan): Is she back with her lesbian ex - and if so, are they open to some sort of menage a three-way?
Summer: I don't wanna hear it. What are you guys? Like Cavalier and Gay?
Seth (amused and impressed): That was funny.
Summer (indignant): I know.
Summer (about the purloined sketchbook of her): Princess Sparkle, you are not going to believe this.
Summer (to Seth): The boobs are a little big.
Summer (to Seth): I'm going to let you get back to work 'cause I expect my own action figure by Chrismukkah.
Zach: You should just focus on the good stuff in your life. Like school. (Seth grimaces.) Or... comics. Yeah, I got nothing.