Julie: You should get another glass of champagne. 'Cause this is one surprise you won't find posted on the internet.
Kirsten: Have you seen Seth?
Sandy: Well I've smelled him. Smells like Teen Spirit to me.
Lindsay: You should have seen the look she gave me. Like I was some sort of scheming fortune hunter.
Ryan: Well, that's what she understands.
Lindsay (about Julie): We should put garlic up in case she comes back.
Lindsay: I don't need to take a test. 'Cause I know that my real dad wouldn't treat me this way.
Ryan (about Seth's obession with Zach and Summer): No, Seth, you can't ask her. It's weird and it's creepy and it's none of your business.
Ryan (about the movie): He tries to do good but he usually ends up destroying everything.
Sandy: Ah, good. My kinda hero.
Sandy: The FBI was here.
Kirsten: Well it wouldn't be the Cohen house if didn't have law enforcement.
Seth: I think closure's overrated. I'm more of a fan of open unrequited love.
Seth: I'm gonna go home; watch VH1. I think Best Week Ever's on.
Seth: Do you not see what's going on here?
Ryan: Yes. You're wallowing.
Summer: Party at Caleb's. That sounds awesome.
Summer (on the phone with Zach):I haven't seen Cohen, why? Well he always smells kind of weird.
Summer: I'm only saying this for the people that live with you: take a shower, Cohen. Zach and I didn't have sex.
Summer: Alex? Seth's Alex? Girl Alex?
Summer (hugging Marissa): This isn't turning you on, right?
Summer: See ya, Cohen.
Seth: See ya, Summer.